report card response!!

Getting my 13 year old daughter's report card gave me cause to ponder many things. She received, as I expected a terrible report. I must confess, that most times I have felt helpless as I have watched her increasing lack of interest in what should be her main concern. I have wondered, why can't she focus her energies on school work! why can't she use the computer as a tool for research rather than a tool for social interaction! When I have decided to give her limited or no access to the computer, except for work, she very quickly finds herself in an entertainment space. I have encouraged talked, shared my own experience as a school child, given her space in which to work and taught methods of how to study effectively but to date, nothing has worked. My wish, and I know that this is the only thing that can happen....a light bulb has to go off in her head wherein she recognizes that to succeed she has to apply herself.

Now although the report was no surprise, it was the fact that she was promoted that really got me riled up! The grades and the comments showed that this child should not be promoted, but she was. She was promoted to a higher form, but a lower stream. I am getting to see first hand the terrible tragedy of the St. Kitts school system. Here is a child who entered high school in what is called the 3rd stream.....Children are streamed, based on their Test of Standards score from grade 3 to grade 6 and are given a placement within the high schools depending on how bright they are. I have spoken out against this system for years...I see it at the beginning of segregation...the creation of class structures....of cliques and gangs... but being faced with whether to send my child into this system or not, I made the terrible mistake of thinking she could succeed in that environment and that we could work together to achieve success. I had seen my eldest son survive it and I thought she could too. It was hoped that she would navigate her way out of 1a3 and into a 1a2....it never happened. It didn't happen in 2nd form, nor in 3rd form! Now she is about to enter 4th form with a navigation downward into 4a4! She had been plonked into a group of bright creative like-minded youth who were all seen as unfocused, very troublesome and noisy. Now she is to be sent to a lower stream with the large majority of her compardres and I am finally facing the fact that while this system may work for some it definitely doesn't work for all and at the end of the day only the fittest will survive. The choice I made three years ago now has to change.

While I have observed the lack of focus of the children in the lower streams and the lack of care of the school administration for these children, I do believe that had they been given the opportunity to compete within a system where a percentage of all levels were within a class setting, they may have stood a better chance of survival....both academically and socially. Instead, at the end of the five year period, the schools will get good scores in the CXC's Caribbean Certificate Council, but it will come from the brightest and the best. What happens to the others...Some will pass 7, 6, 5 0r less subjects, others have failed totally, while some would have been kicked out of school along the way, some would have been sent to project Strong or to AVEC (Advanced Vocational Education)! At the same time, on a social level, children who would have played together in pre-school and primary school would hardly associate at the end of the five year period depending on where they fell in the streams.

Last night, I spoke gently to my daughter. I told her, and I really hope she gets it, that I understand her because I had a similar experience in my own youth. I had been sitting there contemplating how to handle this situation, and I recalled that when I was around 9 or 10 I had been put into a B stream in primary school. I worked my way out of it and back into an A stream the following year. My lessons still had to be learn't when I failed math at the Common Entrance Exam and had to spend another year in primary school, only to get a Bursary(partial scholarship) on that occasion. I spoke to her hoping she would understand that it takes hard work to achieve success! At the end of the day, no one want to fail.....yesterday when I showed her the report I saw the disappointment on her face and I saw the tears and a sadness in her entire demeanor as she walked off....not even wanting lunch! So I know, that somewhere deep within her is a desire to succeed! She needs to recognize it, embrace it and work to achieving this success. I have decided that for this summer, I will go back to practice that never fails....get her to read as any books as possible, do her chores and attend summer camp! She will not get much access to the computer and phone. I am hoping to encourage her to create her own blogspot and write as much as possible. My plan for the coming week, albeit a bit late but I will be looking at the possibility of having her attend a private school.

This time is a challenge but it is a time I must embrace and handle effectively.