sometimes.....

Sometimes, I find myself sitting and thinking of the past! The long ago past of my childhood, and I wonder why certain things happened, why to me? I allow these memories to play like an old movie in my head....I watch them pass and I try to investigate and I wonder did I dream it or was it truly real. Then I wonder how was I able to survive some of the things I went through....where did that strength come from...that ability to hold my head up high and continue living as if nothing happened. Yet it did....And I also think of how these things ended up affecting my life in the future. There were times when I have cried, unabashedly as I recalled happenings of my childhood, of my teen years! Afterwards I feel cleansed and strong but the memories still return....sometimes....when I am alone...washing dishes or cleaning my house! Today I am stronger, today, I look at them, these memories, like a movie, calmly, and I allow them to pass for they hold no power over me. Experience have taught me that I have to keep my eyes wide open, for myself and for my children....the world outside of ourselves, and even from within our own selves will, from time to time attract, some unknown evil, so I seek protection from the Almighty creator daily. I am thankful for all the blessings, the strength and the wisdom I have been given....I am thankful for the many friends I have been blessed with who have brought joy and helped me along the way....for sometimes...when the burden is too heavy to bear, there is always a sister, a brother, a friend whom I can talk too... I can look at things more clearly and overcome....I can be peaceful!

Lately, I have been thinking about this....haven't we all been hurt somehow, yet we don't all become evil....we don't all want to wreak havoc on the populace....to commit violent crimes against our fellowman! Therefore, what is it within us...those who continue to survive despite hardships endured??? What is this unknown thing that others seem unable to tap....sometimes I wonder about all these things and more....and I wish I could share with others so that they may know that they are not alone, that they too can overcome and choose good over evil....